Question
Malpractice
John Devine
Characters:
JUDGE
LAWYER #1
LAWYER #2
PITCHER
DOCTOR
1PITCHER: Simple case of malpractice, I tell you!
2LAWYER #1: Your Honor, request permission to treat the witness as hostile.
3JUDGE: Granted.
4PITCHER: (moody) You’d be hostile, too, if you paid some quack over two hundred bucks to make a laughingstock out of you.
5LAWYER #1: Slow down, Mr. Daniels. Please outline the nature of your complaint against my client.
6PITCHER: Huh?
7LAWYER #1: (rolls his eyes at the jury) Tell the jury why you’re suing Dr. Milford.
8PITCHER: Oh. Well, it’s like this. I hurled one down the strike zone, and the batter belted it right into my forehead. (to the jury) Nice lump, ain’t it?
9LAWYER #1: We all see the protuberance, Mr. Daniels. Indeed, it’s impossible to miss. What is less obvious, however, is how my client, John Milford, M.D., is culpable for said protuberance.
10PITCHER: (to the JUDGE) Can’t this shyster speak English, Judge?
11JUDGE: (weary) Counsel is instructed to employ colloquialisms.
12PITCHER: (again to the JUDGE) Can you speak English?
13LAWYER #1: (to DANIELS) How precisely is Dr. Milford to blame for a line drive into your noggin?
14PITCHER: Oh, I don’t blame the old sawbones for the lump. I blame him for giving me a clean bill of health. I blame him for sending me back to the pitcher’s mound so soon that I passed out on national television. Simple case of malpractice!
15LAWYER #1: Isn’t it true, Mr. Daniels, that you swooned like an old lady at a bullfight over a week after the incident in question? Isn't it true that Dr. Milford gave you an EEG and that the results showed no cerebral damage whatsoever?
16PITCHER: I don’t care if he gave me an EFG or an HIJ! The fact is, I went out like a light in front of millions of viewers. That ain’t the kinda image a professional athlete likes to project. And who are you calling an old lady? Do you know what my ERA is?
17LAWYER #1: In other words, you were abashed.
18PITCHER: Abashed? No, I never drink in season.
19LAWYER #1: Abashed, Mr. Daniels! Chagrined! Embarrassed!
20PITCHER: Oh. Why didn't you say so in the first place? You bet I was embarrassed. I got little boys and girls all over America who look up to me. Well, let me tell you. Nobody looks up to you when you’re flat on your back.
21LAWYER #1: And you want my client to compensate you for your embarrassment.
22PITCHER: My lawyer tells me I’m entitled to damages. Pain and suffering and so forth.
23LAWYER #1: He told you that, did he? Did he tell you that my client was an easy target? That he would likely settle out of court to avoid bad publicity or lost time in the office?
24LAWYER #2: Objection, Your Honor. Privileged communications.
25JUDGE: Objection sustained.
26LAWYER #1: The fact remains, Mr. Daniels, that you’re scapegoating my client. Dr. Milford has practiced medicine with distinction in this city for over—
27LAWYER #2: Your Honor, I believe that my distinguished colleague has forgotten that it is his role to elicit testimony, not provide it. Since he obviously has no more questions to ask my client, I suggest that I take a turn with his.
28JUDGE (to LAWYER #1): Does counsel have any further questions for this witness?
29LAWYER #1: No, Your Honor. I believe the witness can be excused. (winking at the jury) After all, we wouldn’t want to induce another episode of decerebration in our professional athlete here. (walking away from the witness stand but then turning back to DANIELS) I’m sorry, Mr. Daniels. Allow me to translate. We wouldn’t want you to faint again like a little boy on a hot day at his first little league game. I want you wide awake when Dr. Milford countersues for defamation of character.
30PITCHER: Why you lousy—
31LAWYER #2: Your Honor, I object! He's badgering the witness!
32JUDGE: Objection overruled.
33LAWYER #2: (brings his fist down loudly on the table) Your Honor! Sidebar!
34JUDGE: Denied. Control your temper, Counsel, or I'll hold you in contempt.
35LAWYER #2: (subdued) But Your Honor, my witness . . .
36JUDGE: The witness is excused.
37PITCHER: Excused? What I do? (pointing at Dr. Milford) It’s that quack in the audience who needs excusing! (holding his forehead as he steps down) Simple case of malpractice!
Question
"Denied. Control your temper, Counsel, or I'll hold you in contempt."
When the judge so threatens Lawyer #2 in section 34 of this selection, the phrase "hold you in contempt" is an example of
Responses
A dialect.dialect.
B hyperbole.hyperbole.
C jargon.jargon.
D slang.
John Devine
Characters:
JUDGE
LAWYER #1
LAWYER #2
PITCHER
DOCTOR
1PITCHER: Simple case of malpractice, I tell you!
2LAWYER #1: Your Honor, request permission to treat the witness as hostile.
3JUDGE: Granted.
4PITCHER: (moody) You’d be hostile, too, if you paid some quack over two hundred bucks to make a laughingstock out of you.
5LAWYER #1: Slow down, Mr. Daniels. Please outline the nature of your complaint against my client.
6PITCHER: Huh?
7LAWYER #1: (rolls his eyes at the jury) Tell the jury why you’re suing Dr. Milford.
8PITCHER: Oh. Well, it’s like this. I hurled one down the strike zone, and the batter belted it right into my forehead. (to the jury) Nice lump, ain’t it?
9LAWYER #1: We all see the protuberance, Mr. Daniels. Indeed, it’s impossible to miss. What is less obvious, however, is how my client, John Milford, M.D., is culpable for said protuberance.
10PITCHER: (to the JUDGE) Can’t this shyster speak English, Judge?
11JUDGE: (weary) Counsel is instructed to employ colloquialisms.
12PITCHER: (again to the JUDGE) Can you speak English?
13LAWYER #1: (to DANIELS) How precisely is Dr. Milford to blame for a line drive into your noggin?
14PITCHER: Oh, I don’t blame the old sawbones for the lump. I blame him for giving me a clean bill of health. I blame him for sending me back to the pitcher’s mound so soon that I passed out on national television. Simple case of malpractice!
15LAWYER #1: Isn’t it true, Mr. Daniels, that you swooned like an old lady at a bullfight over a week after the incident in question? Isn't it true that Dr. Milford gave you an EEG and that the results showed no cerebral damage whatsoever?
16PITCHER: I don’t care if he gave me an EFG or an HIJ! The fact is, I went out like a light in front of millions of viewers. That ain’t the kinda image a professional athlete likes to project. And who are you calling an old lady? Do you know what my ERA is?
17LAWYER #1: In other words, you were abashed.
18PITCHER: Abashed? No, I never drink in season.
19LAWYER #1: Abashed, Mr. Daniels! Chagrined! Embarrassed!
20PITCHER: Oh. Why didn't you say so in the first place? You bet I was embarrassed. I got little boys and girls all over America who look up to me. Well, let me tell you. Nobody looks up to you when you’re flat on your back.
21LAWYER #1: And you want my client to compensate you for your embarrassment.
22PITCHER: My lawyer tells me I’m entitled to damages. Pain and suffering and so forth.
23LAWYER #1: He told you that, did he? Did he tell you that my client was an easy target? That he would likely settle out of court to avoid bad publicity or lost time in the office?
24LAWYER #2: Objection, Your Honor. Privileged communications.
25JUDGE: Objection sustained.
26LAWYER #1: The fact remains, Mr. Daniels, that you’re scapegoating my client. Dr. Milford has practiced medicine with distinction in this city for over—
27LAWYER #2: Your Honor, I believe that my distinguished colleague has forgotten that it is his role to elicit testimony, not provide it. Since he obviously has no more questions to ask my client, I suggest that I take a turn with his.
28JUDGE (to LAWYER #1): Does counsel have any further questions for this witness?
29LAWYER #1: No, Your Honor. I believe the witness can be excused. (winking at the jury) After all, we wouldn’t want to induce another episode of decerebration in our professional athlete here. (walking away from the witness stand but then turning back to DANIELS) I’m sorry, Mr. Daniels. Allow me to translate. We wouldn’t want you to faint again like a little boy on a hot day at his first little league game. I want you wide awake when Dr. Milford countersues for defamation of character.
30PITCHER: Why you lousy—
31LAWYER #2: Your Honor, I object! He's badgering the witness!
32JUDGE: Objection overruled.
33LAWYER #2: (brings his fist down loudly on the table) Your Honor! Sidebar!
34JUDGE: Denied. Control your temper, Counsel, or I'll hold you in contempt.
35LAWYER #2: (subdued) But Your Honor, my witness . . .
36JUDGE: The witness is excused.
37PITCHER: Excused? What I do? (pointing at Dr. Milford) It’s that quack in the audience who needs excusing! (holding his forehead as he steps down) Simple case of malpractice!
Question
"Denied. Control your temper, Counsel, or I'll hold you in contempt."
When the judge so threatens Lawyer #2 in section 34 of this selection, the phrase "hold you in contempt" is an example of
Responses
A dialect.dialect.
B hyperbole.hyperbole.
C jargon.jargon.
D slang.
Answers
GPT-4o mini
C jargon.jargon.