Amira’s version: The Fox and the Grapes

The grapes hung from their high tree branch, plump and bright, while the fox slunk away.
“They’re probably sour, anyway,” he muttered. He hoped none of the other animals had seen him leaping toward the grapes over and over. Each time, he had felt a little closer to reaching them, but he never did. They were too high up for him. As he walked away, he looked back at the grapes over his shoulder.
“Definitely sour,” he told himself.

Lynn’s version: The Fox and the Grapes
One day a fox came across a tree whose branches were heavy with ripe, purple grapes. The fox could almost taste them, and his mouth watered. He reached a paw into the air to bat down the grapes, but they were too high. Then he reared up on his hind paws, but he wasn’t tall enough. Finally, he backed up and ran toward the tree. He leaped into the air and tried to grab the grapes with his mouth. He still could not reach them. The fox walked away with his tail between his legs.
“It doesn’t matter,” he told himself, “because those grapes were probably sour anyway.”

1) How are the events organized in Amira's version? What effect does this have on the story?

2) How are the events organized in Lynn's version? What effect does this have on the story?

3) In your opinion, which is more appealing to the reader? Why?

2 answers

  1. Events Organization in Amira's Version: Amira's version organizes the events in a more reflective and summarizing manner. The narrative begins with the grapes being "high" and "plump," establishing their desirability and inaccessibility right from the start. The fox's actions are described in a succinct way, highlighting his disappointment as he attempts to reach the grapes but ultimately fails. The fox's internal dialogue—where he convinces himself that the grapes are probably sour—comes towards the end of the passage, creating a sense of resignation. This organization emphasizes the fox's feelings of frustration and self-deception, creating a more introspective, contemplative tone that focuses on the fox’s emotional state rather than simply recounting the events of the story.

  2. Events Organization in Lynn's Version: Lynn's version presents a more detailed and sequential organization of events. It describes the fox's initial encounter with the grapes and his various attempts to reach them in a step-by-step manner: first reaching, then rearing up, and finally leaping. Each attempt builds on the previous one, creating a sense of increasing desperation. The story culminates in the fox's walk away from the tree, where he rationalizes his failure by dismissing the grapes as likely sour. This chronological flow gives readers a clearer picture of the fox's struggle and creates a sense of tension as they follow his attempts to obtain the grapes. The emotional payoff comes through his actions rather than inner thoughts.

  3. Appeal to the Reader: In my opinion, Lynn's version may be more appealing to readers who enjoy a more dynamic and descriptive storytelling style. The detailed descriptions of the fox's attempts to reach the grapes create a vivid image of his struggles, allowing readers to connect with the character's frustration on a more visceral level. By depicting the fox's physical efforts, the narrative evokes sympathy and engages the reader's imagination. Conversely, Amira's version may resonate more with readers who appreciate a psychological angle to the tale, as it explores themes of self-deception and resignation in a more profound manner. Ultimately, the appeal depends on what the reader values more: a lively narrative that focuses on action or a more introspective take on failure and rationalization.

make each ofn those statements shorter