Question

how do I make this rhyme better

I blamed what happened on you
But i have the right
What i saw was different from what you thought
Different from what you did

Even if you were there you werent
The father that was meant to protect
Was the one that broke me the most
Hiding the sun each morning so all was dark

I tried to be better
To save your marriage
But it was yours not mine
I was just a child

A child that wanted a dad
But got a teenager instead
I had to grow while you didn't
I learned while you failed

When i saw the other kids played with their dads
I was left alone
No one's shoulders to ride on
No one to play ball

I forgave and i forgot
But each time i forgave
It go harder and harder
To forget

So i tried to block out the guilt
Did everything you did
It seemed to work with you
But made me blind to the truth

You didnt try You gave up
When it got hard you quiet
While i tried
While my childhood was gone you were stuck in yours

So now i might be done
I still do miss you
I hate that i do
But i can't call you my dad when you are just a kid

I hate the feeling you left me with
When you would go out that door
Leave me in the dark
Without a clue if you were safe or in danger

That breaks your daughter
I was a kid
You were supposed to be a man
But i grew up before you

So i'm trying to kill you in my mind
But my mind kills me
I'm trying to fight the urge to yell
To scream at voices

To stop

Answer 1

Here's a revised version of your poem that enhances the rhyme while keeping the essence of your original feelings:

---

I blamed what happened all on you,
And yet I know it felt so true.
What I saw was far from your view,
Different from the things you’d do.

Though you were there, you weren't the one,
The father meant to shield the sun.
It was your shadow that broke me most,
Each dawn you stole, each hope you choked.

I tried my best to mend your heart,
To save your love, to play my part.
But it was yours, not meant for me,
Just a child longing to be free.

A child who sought a father’s grace,
Yet got a teen lost in his space.
While you stayed young, I had to grow,
I learned the lessons you’d forgo.

When other kids played with their dads,
I watched, alone, my heart so sad.
No shoulders high for me to climb,
No ball to toss, no joyful rhyme.

I forgave, yet still the weight
Of every hurt would resonate.
With every chance, it got so tough,
To let it go, to say “enough.”

I tried to block the guilt away,
To mimic you, to feign the play.
It seemed to work for you just fine,
But blinded me, I crossed the line.

You didn’t fight; you chose to flee.
When battles came, you ceased to be.
While I was trying, standing tall,
You stayed a boy while I took the fall.

Now, I might just be done with you,
And yet I miss the love we knew.
I hate that feeling deep inside,
But can’t call you “Dad” when you’re a child.

I hate the scars you left me bare,
When you would leave, without a care.
In shadows deep, I’d feel alone,
Awaiting news on your return home.

That breaks a girl, I was so small,
You should have been my sturdy wall.
But I grew up, while you stood still,
While you lost hope, I learned to feel.

So now I struggle, fight my mind,
Yet in this battle, peace I can’t find.
I scream against the thoughts I dread,
To silence all the words unsaid.

To stop this pain, to find my place,
To heal the wounds, to seek some grace.
For little girls deserve a guide,
Not shadows cast, but love that’s wide.

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Feel free to adjust any lines or sentiments to better fit your intention!