English Language Arts

Question

In 2012, government leaders
in Chattanooga, Tennessee launched a bike-
sharing" system in their city. This program
consisted of scattering bicycles around the
City so people could use them instead of driving
their cars everywhere. Later that year, New
York city also joined this system. Bike- sharing
has certainly become a trend in this country
but how does it affect the cities that it
is used in? Some positive outcomes include
Overall personal health and a cleaner environment.
even with some prominent issues, it can
be argued that the benefits outweigh these
problems.
One of the positive outcomes
of the bike sharing system is personal health
and fitness. Both Chattanooga and New
York City have reported more active
and healthier citizens. "Together,
riders have burned more than one
million calories [in chattanooga]" Physical
fitness is becoming more important in
America, and bike-sharing programs have
proved that they help the cause. This
is especially important in cities that rely
On cars for their man made of transportation
It can be difficult to launch bike-share
in a small city with a transportation system
that is heavily reliant on car travel, Pugliese
said." With this bike-share program, citizens
will be more active and therefore improve
their personal physical health.
Another Major positive
accompanying the bike-share program is
creating a healthier environment. In a
country that is reliant on cars, buses.
and other gasoline-oriented modes of travel.
bicycles are a clean and cheap source of
transportation. "The study found that the
increased use of biking over car travel ..
reduced carbon dioxide emmisions. " Bike sharing
also helps reduce smog from the environment.
"All those bile trips have resulted in up to
a 8, 100 pound reduction in emmisions." Encouraging
More citizens to ride bikes has a great
effect on the health of the environment.
People have speculated
Possible problems with the bike sharing program.
"However, bike-share programs
programs do introduc new
risks, including biking accidents and exposure to
air pollution." These concerns, however, can be
Outweighed by the positive outcomes. First,
the number of bicycling injuries has proved
to be going down, even with the new system.
..
even though the bicycling trend is taking
off in New York City, the number of injunes
is on the decline." Expers suggest that
new or rusty riders consider a biking
class or lesson on bike safety, before joining a
bike- share program." Second, since bicycling
Is proven to reduce pollution, it contradicts the
fear of being exposed to emmisions. " Study
authors concluded that the benefits of the
bike- share program out weighed the safety risks"
Bike-share programs have
had a great effect on American cities. It
Improves physical health and environmental health.
The positive problems. I'm the new age, when physical
activity and green travel is vital to our
society bike sharing is an excellent option
for ourselves an country, and our world. outcomes outweigh any potential

This is one 8th grader's response to the text and writing prompt listed above. Read the entire essay then explain whether or not the student completed the assignment correctly. What score do you think they received on this essay out of 100 pts.?

Answer 1

The student's essay responds to the prompt by discussing both the positive outcomes and the potential problems associated with bike-sharing programs, specifically in the contexts of Chattanooga and New York City. The essay highlights positive impacts, such as improved personal health and a cleaner environment, while acknowledging concerns regarding safety and pollution. However, it ultimately argues that the benefits outweigh the problems.

Here are some points to consider regarding whether the student completed the assignment correctly:

1. Content: The essay addresses the prompt effectively, covering both sides of the argument. The student provides specific data, such as calorie burning in Chattanooga, carbon dioxide emissions reduction, and the decline in bicycle injuries.

2. Organization: The essay is organized logically, with separate sections for positive outcomes, concerns, and overall conclusions. However, there are some issues with transitions and flow between ideas, which could confuse the reader.

3. Clarity and Mechanics: There are multiple spelling errors and grammatical issues throughout the essay (e.g., "bile" instead of "bike," "emmisions" instead of "emissions," "expers" instead of "experts," etc.). These detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.

4. Style and Voice: The student uses a conversational tone, which can be engaging, but it may not be suitable for an academic essay. There's a mix of formal and informal language, which affects consistency.

5. Conclusion: The essay ends with a strong statement on the overall benefits of bike-sharing, but the phrasing is somewhat confusing and lacks precision.

Taking these points into account, here’s a possible breakdown for a score out of 100:

• Content (30/40): The student provided a solid understanding of the topic and supported their argument with examples but could have elaborated further on the counterarguments.

• Organization (15/20): The essay is generally well-structured, though some transitions could be better.

• Clarity and Mechanics (10/20): The numerous spelling and grammatical errors greatly affect readability and professionalism.

• Style and Voice (5/10): The style is inconsistent, and the use of informal language in certain areas detracts from the essay’s effectiveness.

Overall, I would score the essay 70 out of 100. The student did a good job of addressing the prompt but needs to work on clarity, mechanics, and maintaining a professional tone in their writing.

Answer 2

make it shorter

Answer 3

The student effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive outcomes of bike-sharing, such as improved health and environmental benefits, and potential concerns like safety and pollution. The essay argues that the benefits outweigh these issues but has several spelling and grammatical errors, which diminish its clarity and professionalism.

Score Breakdown:

• Content (30/40): Good coverage of the topic, but some points could be elaborated.
• Organization (15/20): Generally structured well, but some transitions need improvement.
• Clarity and Mechanics (10/20): Numerous errors impact readability.
• Style and Voice (5/10): An inconsistent tone affects effectiveness.

Overall, I would score the essay 70 out of 100. The student needs to improve clarity, mechanics, and maintain a more professional tone.