English Language Arts

Question

In 2012, government leaders
in Chattanooga, Tennessee launched a bike-
sharing" system in their city. This program
consisted of scattering bicycles around the
City so people could use them instead of driving
their cars everywhere. Later that year, New
York city also joined this system. Bike- sharing
has certainly become a trend in this country
but how does it affect the cities that it
is used in? Some positive outcomes include
Overall personal health and a cleaner environment.
even with some prominent issues, it can
be argued that the benefits outweigh these
problems.
One of the positive outcomes
of the bike sharing system is personal health
and fitness. Both Chattanooga and New

This is one 8th grader's response to the text and writing prompt listed above. Read the entire essay then explain whether or not the student completed the assignment correctly. What score do you think they received on this essay out of 100 pts.?

Answer 1

Based on the provided text, it seems that the student has made a good effort to respond to the prompt regarding the effects of bike-sharing systems in cities. They have introduced the topic by mentioning the launch of bike-sharing in Chattanooga and New York and have identified some positive outcomes, such as improvements in personal health and the environment. However, the response seems to be incomplete, as it abruptly ends in the middle of a sentence, which suggests that the student may not have had enough time to finish their thoughts or support their claims fully.

To evaluate whether the student completed the assignment correctly, here are a few key points to consider:

1. Content and Relevance: The student does address the topic and provides specific examples related to the bike-sharing system's benefits. However, they have not elaborated sufficiently on these points or provided specific evidence or examples to support their claims.

2. Structure and Organization: The essay has a basic introduction and mentions positive outcomes. Still, it lacks a clear structure with transitions and a conclusion to tie everything together. There is also an impression of unfinished thoughts, which detracts from the overall quality.

3. Writing Mechanics and Clarity: The writing is generally clear, but the incomplete sentence at the end significantly affects the clarity and coherence of the essay. Spelling and grammar issues were not mentioned, so this area may have been handled adequately.

4. Argument Development: While the student has started to articulate a position (that benefits may outweigh the problems), the argument is not fully developed or supported with examples, making it hard to understand the depth of the student's analysis.

Given these points, if I were to score this essay out of 100 points, I might assign it a score in the range of 60-70. It shows an understanding of the topic and some positive aspects of bike-sharing but falls short of being a complete and thoroughly supported essay. The score reflects a decent understanding but highlights the need for more development, organization, and conclusive thoughts.