Your text presents a strong perspective on the justification of the U.S.-Mexican War, effectively highlighting key elements such as Manifest Destiny, territorial expansion, and cultural conflicts. However, to enhance clarity, depth, and engagement, consider the following suggestions:
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Introductions and Thesis Statement: Start with a more defined thesis statement that encapsulates your main argument about the justification for the war.
Example: "The U.S.-Mexican War was justified, as it represented an inevitable response to Mexico's resistance against American expansion driven by the belief in Manifest Destiny."
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Structure and Flow: Organize your points more clearly. Use paragraph breaks to separate different themes, such as the situation in Texas, the concept of Manifest Destiny, and the impact of the Alamo.
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Citations and Sources: When you reference specific texts, like 'The History of Mexico' by Burton Corkwood or the Texas State Library and Archive Commission, ensure proper formatting of citations and provide context for the quotes used.
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Counterarguments: Acknowledge potential counterarguments, such as the plight of Mexican citizens or the ethics of expansionism, even briefly. This could strengthen your argument by showing that you've considered multiple perspectives.
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Language and Tone: While the informal tone ("This is MY land! GET OFF MY LAWN!") can engage readers, it may come off as overly casual for an academic discussion. Additionally, check for consistency in voice throughout the text.
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Conclusion: Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main arguments made and reflecting on the long-term implications of the war on U.S.-Mexico relations and on American identity.
Revised Sample Paragraph:
The U.S.-Mexican War was fundamentally justified as a manifestation of America's belief in Manifest Destiny and its inevitable territorial expansion. By the mid-19th century, settlement in Texas highlighted cultural tensions that arose between American immigrants and Mexican citizens. As Mexico enforced stricter laws to govern its territory, tensions escalated, culminating in a declaration of Texan independence that Mexico viewed as an act of aggression. As described in Burton Corkwood's "The History of Mexico," the annexation of Texas in 1845 was seen by many Americans as a logical step following the expansion of U.S. territory after the Louisiana Purchase. This belief in Manifest Destiny fueled the notion that expansion was a right, leading to the conflict that ensued. The struggles during this period, including the failed Treaties of Velasco and the pivotal Battle of the Alamo, reveal the deep convictions held by many who fought for what they believed was their rightful territory. Ultimately, the conclusion of the war with the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo in 1848 solidified this conviction, linking their sacrifices to the broader narrative of American identity and expansion.
Taking these suggestions into account should improve the overall cohesiveness of your argument and enhance the analytical depth of your writing.