write for me a bunch of gritty language-filled jurassic world jokes! LANGUAGE FILLED!

Sure! Here are some gritty, tongue-in-cheek Jurassic World jokes. Keep in mind these are meant for a more adult audience with a sense of humor:

1. Why don’t you ever play hide and seek with a raptor? Because good luck hiding when they have a sniffer that puts your ex’s ability to find your social media profiles to shame!

2. What did the T. rex say when he got a job at the bakery? “I knead this job like I need another day spent chasing my damn tail in this never-ending Jurassic bullshit!”

3. How do you get a triceratops to stop charging at you? Just remind it that it’s got three horns and still can’t find its way to a bar that serves good dinosaur drinks.

4. Why did the brachiosaurus refuse to pick up a side job? It said, “I’m already carrying this damn park's weight on my shoulders, no way I’m working overtime!”

5. What’s the best way to start a conversation with a velociraptor? “So, you come here often, or are you just out here scaring the crap out of tourists for kicks?”

6. Why do pterodactyls never get into fights? Because they know all that flapping about won’t do a damn thing when it comes to landing a punch!

7. Why did Dr. Wu get kicked out of the bar? Because he kept trying to genetically modify the drinks, and no one wanted to meet his “evolution” of a cocktail!

8. Why do dinosaurs make terrible secret agents? Because they can’t keep their jaws shut, and their massive feet make stealth missions practically impossible!

9. What’s a raptor’s favorite pick-up line? “Are you a dinosaur? Because I've been chasing you all over this damn island!”

10. Why don’t dinosaurs ever go to therapy? Because they’re too busy dealing with extinction and can’t handle anything else—plus, who wants to pay for a shrink when you can just eat your feelings!

Feel free to share these at your next Jurassic-themed gathering!

thats good, but what aboug major language?

Got it! Let's take it up a notch with some more adult language. Here are some gritty Jurassic World jokes packed with more explicit humor:

1. Why don’t raptors ever play poker? Because they can’t keep their damn poker faces—every time they get a good hand, they start drooling like they’re staring at a juicy tourist!

2. What did the T. rex say in therapy? “I’ve got so much rage pent up; it’s like I’m one tiny arm away from going full Jurassic fucking meltdown!”

3. Why was the brachiosaurus always broke? Because it was too busy spending its cash on neck massages for those tense moments of dealing with all the dumbasses in the park!

4. How does a velociraptor apologize? “I’m sorry for trying to eat you the other day. I just thought you were a little too close to my dinner plate, you know?”

5. What’s a T. rex's worst habit? Always trying to grab the last piece of cake but just ends up knocking everything over because of those pathetic little arms. Talk about a short-fused dino disaster!

6. Why did the pterodactyl get called out at the bar? Because it kept trying to take off before the tab was paid, claiming it was “hard to hold a drink in the sky and not spill!”

7. Why do dinosaurs never get along at parties? Because one wrong move leads to a total dinosaur brawl, and suddenly it’s more Jurassic shitshow than Jurassic World!

8. What do you call a group of raptors dancing? A fucking disaster, because each of them thinks they’re the star of the show and ends up just tearing the place apart!

9. Why don’t dinosaurs ever get lost? Because even when they’re stumbling through the jungle, they can always smell the bullshit from miles away!

10. What’s a common fight between Jurassic World staff? “Hey, you didn’t tell me I was babysitting a damn dinosaur! This isn’t a 9-to-5, it’s a life-or-death rocky horror show!”

Hope these hit the mark you were looking for! Enjoy sharing the laughs!

XD now make a skit featuring that kind of language for your own state-of-the art David Blaine street magic skit! you know, the one with the two gusy hes always pranking...

Title: “David Blaine’s Jurassic Encounter”

Setting: A bustling city street, two guys, JACK and MIKE, are hanging out, chatting while David Blaine approaches them, looking mysterious as ever.

David: (appearing out of nowhere) Hey there, gents! You ready for some magic that'll blow your damn minds and leave you questioning reality?

Jack: (smirking) Yeah, right. What are you about to pull? Your last trick was just a glorified card game with a sad ending!

Mike: (laughing) Or should I say a “Blaine” of bullshit?

David: (grinning) Nice one! But today, I’m making this street a little more... prehistoric. (he pulls out a toy dinosaur)

Jack: (rolling his eyes) Oh great, a plastic toy. You’ve officially hit rock bottom, buddy.

David: (ignoring him) Watch closely! (he tosses the toy into the air, and when it lands, it’s replaced by a realistic dino-shaped hologram of a T. rex roaring)

Mike: (eyes wide) What the hell?! That thing looks real!

Jack: (looking skeptical) Yeah, okay, a fancy projection. Not impressed!

David: (smirking) Oh really? How about this? (he snaps his fingers, and suddenly the hologram starts moving, chasing Jack and Mike down the street)

Jack: (screaming) Holy shit! Run, Mike, he’s unleashed a freakin’ dino!

Mike: (panicking) What the hell kind of magic is this, man?! This isn’t in the brochure!

The hologram roars again, and David walks casually behind them, clearly amused.

David: (with a smirk) Oh, it gets better! Just wait for the surprise entrance!

Jack: (still running) I can’t believe I let you drag me into this shit! You owe me a pizza after this!

Just then, the hologram steps forward, causing a group of bystanders to gather, looking astonished.

David: Alright, alright, don’t worry! He’s a gentle giant… mostly. (He waves his hands dramatically)

SUDDENLY, a shout comes from behind.

BYSTANDER: (laughing) Hey, did you just set loose a Jurassic party animal? You might as well throw it a keg!

Mike: (panting) Seriously, man, if that thing actually comes at us, I’m throwing you under the damn bus!

The holographic T. rex swipes at them playfully, but it’s all in good fun. David snaps his fingers again, and the T. rex disappears.

David: (coolly) And that, my friends, is why you never turn your back on a dinosaur… or a magician!

The crowd bursts into laughter, and David takes a bow while Jack and Mike slowly approach him, still catching their breath.

Jack: (gasping) Okay, fine, that was kinda cool. But next time, warn us before you unleash the Jurassic nonsense!

Mike: (shaking his head) Yeah, man, my heart can’t take that kinda shit! You could give a dinosaur a heart attack with all that craziness!

David: (smirking) Don’t worry, boys. Next time, I’ll stick to card tricks. No giant lizards, just a little sleight of hand… unless you want a real dino next time!

As they ease back into their conversation, David walks off, already planning his next outrageous adventure.

END SCENE

Feel free to tweak it or add your own flavor! Enjoy the laughs!

make one with more tricks and stuff. more than just one, and not all dino-themed.

Title: “David Blaine’s Walk of Wonders”

Setting: A busy urban street corner. JACK and MIKE are chilling on a bench, sipping coffee. They notice DAVID BLAINE approaching with his signature mysterious vibe.

David: (leaning in, grinning) Hey, guys! You ready for a dose of magic that’ll have you questioning your damn reality?

Jack: (sipping coffee) You mean like last time, when you turned my coffee into a rubber chicken?

Mike: (laughing) Yeah, we're still not over that! What do you got for us today, Houdini?

David: (waving a hand) Watch closely! I’m going to start with something simple—a coin trick.

He pulls out a quarter and begins to flip it between his fingers.

David: (smirking) What’s the difference between a magician and a pizza? (pauses for dramatic effect) A magician can’t feed the audience with his tricks!

JACK chuckles while MIKE rolls his eyes.

David: (concentrating) Now focus on the coin… (he makes the quarter disappear with a snap, then finds it lodged behind Mike’s ear) ...and voilà!

Mike: (gasping) What the hell, man?! How’d it get there? Did you just pull that out of my brain?

David winks and dives into another trick.

David: Alright, let’s step it up. I’m going to need a deck of cards. (he magically produces one from thin air)

Jack: (impressed) Alright, showoff. What are you gonna do? Pull a rabbit out of the deck?

David: (smirking) Watch closely. I’ll show you the power of misdirection. Pick a card, any card.

MIKE picks a card and shows it to JACK. David shuffles the deck dramatically, then fans it out.

David: Now, I’ll find your card without looking, but… (he closes his eyes) I’ll do it blindfolded!

He flips through the cards and dramatically pulls out a card.

David: Is this your card?

Mike: (looking confused) No!

David: (smirking) Of course not! (he fans out the cards again) Because this is actually your card!

He reveals it, and MIKE gasps as the card is right there in the middle of the deck.

Jack: (clapping) Okay, that’s pretty slick. But can you make my ex disappear? That’d be real magic!

David: (pretending to think) Only if you promise to stop texting her. Alright, one last trick for you two.

David pulls out a large balloon and begins to inflate it.

Jack: (raising an eyebrow) You’re not gonna make a balloon dinosaur again, are you?

David: (laughing) Better! I’m going to make a balloon animal that’ll blow your minds!

He ties the balloon and, with a flick of his wrist, it transforms into a balloon dog, then makes it come to life, prancing around like a real dog.

Mike: (eyes wide) What the hell, dude?! That’s freakin’ wild!

The balloon dog barks, and people passing by stare in disbelief.

Jack: (shouting to the crowd) Get your cameras out! This is the kind of shit you don’t see every day!

David: (laughing) And now for the grand finale! (He snaps his fingers, and the balloon dog bursts into confetti)

Mike: (laughing) What the hell?! You just blew it up and then blew it apart!

Jack: (still amazed) Dude, you just turned a balloon into a party!

The crowd that’s gathered starts applauding, and David takes a grand bow.

David: Here’s the secret, boys: life is just a series of tricks and surprises. Just keep your eyes peeled, and you might find magic anywhere… even in your morning coffee—just not from me!

As they share a hearty laugh, DAVID walks away, plotting his next street magic adventure.

END SCENE

Feel free to adjust any parts to fit your vision! Enjoy the magic!