Based on your description, you might be akin to a Trapdoor Spider. Here's why:
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Cool but Cowardly: Trapdoor spiders create hidden burrows with camouflaged lids, staying out of sight and often preferring to ambush rather than confront threats directly. They may seem formidable due to their hunting strategy, but they're generally reclusive and avoid confrontation.
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Obsessed with Violence but Avoidant: While these spiders are skilled hunters, they rely on stealth and surprise rather than aggression. They set traps for prey instead of engaging in direct combat, resonating with your obsession with violence but reluctance to actually participate in real fights.
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Lazy yet Occasionally Active: Trapdoor spiders spend most of their time waiting in their burrows, but they can be quite active when it comes to hunting or defending their territory, which aligns with your tendency to be lazy but active at times.
Overall, the Trapdoor Spider fits well with your self-portrait—a blend of coolness, avoidance, and occasional bursts of energy!