I forgot to include the following questions for you to check. Thank you very much.

7) The interviewee got together with two friends of him and they dressed up like a seventies pop group in Afro wigs and dark glasses.
8) His girlfriend had also arranged for a musician to come and play a lot of sevienties music.
9) It was good of her (can you say that?) to put some disposable cameras on the tables so they all his friends could take their photos.
10) She also had them developed so that they could all get copies of the ones they liked.
11) The interviewee had a photo of himself and his friends enlarged and framed.
12) He made a lot of friends including a nice girl that he has seen quite a lot since then (?).
13) As he had broken up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks,Charlie's party really cheered him up.

1 answer

7 -- delete "of him" -- comma after "friends"

8 -- watch spelling --> "seventies"

9 -- "of her" is fine; delete "they"

10 -- clarify the pronouns -- who are "they" and "them"

11 -- fine

12 -- "girl whom"

13 -- delete "As" and insert "Because" -- add "ago" after "a couple of weeks" -- add a space after that comma