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Growing up I was never the smart kid in the brunch, my grandma would right it off as me being lazy and so I did as well. My cousin was the smart one and still is, I’m so proud of her but back then I wasn’t. She and my grandma would always have the most fun learning or playing learning games, not me I’d much rather watch tv or play with my toys. So I distanced myself from them, I refused to be the third wheel. That meant I wouldn’t hang out with them at the same time for long periods of time, like at family prayers I’d already be in the bed. If me and my cousin hung out it was to play and if me and my grandma hung out it was to watch tv, but my grandma started picking up on if and forced me back to the prayers and the third wheel life. I’m not saying they were leaving me out, their brains were on a level mine couldn’t comprehend and it was driving me crazy. This drove me closer and closer with my papa. He was a handyman, I believe the reason I’m so good with my hands today is because of him. I started building things around the house, my grandma said she saw me take chairs from the garage, my old dora, the explorer table and a blanket and made my very own princess carriage. My love for building didn’t stop there.

Once my grandma took notice of this newborn passion she bought me a magnetic building kit for kids. It had magnetic balls that you would stick at the end of magnet sticks and make towers, and pyramids. After I graduated from that we moved on to legos, and me and my cousin would spend hours on them. However the first challenge was about to begin, I was about to start Pre-k. I remember my grandma walking me to the door and helping me find my seat, it had my name on it. Then she walked in, Ms. Simmons is my very first teacher. She had dark brown hair, brown eyes and the warmest smile in the world. She didn’t make us feel bad about anything, even when I peed on myself. She never let anything bring us down, I was her favorite at least that's what my grandma told me. Being in her class really showed me that I wasn’t going to be the best academically I would be artistically. That’s why I’m so good at dancing, drawing, and singing because I can master any of those challenges. In dance I’ll just practice until I can’t feel my body, with art I can just turn my page upside down and look from a different perspective. Singing I just make sure to do my warm ups everything and to drink water. In math I have to use parts of my brain that’s facing the wrong way. However, I didn’t need to worry about that in pre-k and Ms. Simmons made it so much easier not to feel bad about yourself, if you don’t get something right away. She was the first teacher to believe in me.

During the time I was in Pre-k I was in dance, I went every thursday. My grandma was a dance mom but not the crazy one off the show, she is the type of person who lets their child’s talent speak for itself. And talented I was, the instructor Ms. Angelina was the best. She had a beautiful ascent, to this day I still don’t know where she’s from. While I was in her class I would look at what she’s doing and try to do the exact same thing, because I would see where the other girls would make their mistakes and fix them. She would always look at me with pride and tell me “Oh, Amber you’re progressing wonderfully into a fine young dancer.” At the time I didn’t know what progressing meant so I’d just smile and say thank you. I was in the mini class and we were rehearsing for our upcoming play “The Nutcracker”. We played mice, jesters, and snowflakes. I was so excited it would be my first ever performance. I rehearsed night and day, day and night until I knew that routine inside and out.

Once it was time for the showcase I didn’t know that ms. Simmons was going to be there, I’d asked my grandma to invite her but I didn't think she would actually say yes now I had to knock it out of the park. And I did, I crushed it. After the whole thing was over and we were walking to the car and elderly woman walked up and said “Were you in the show”, I nod. Then she smiled and said “ I would love to get a photo with one of the stars of the show” I was so happy. I ran over and gave her a hug and we took the picture, in that moment it felt like time stood still. I felt everything all at once. And I knew what I wanted, I wanted this. Looking back I’m very proud of myself for still trying to pursue my dream to become a dancer today. Fast forward a couple years later in 5th grade I was placed in a class that took away 30 minutes of my p.e. time and hated it. When I started the class I noticed that she would talk to us like 5 year olds, learning how to read for the first time, now that was embarrassing. It did seem like we were all on the same page about reading, we all needed help and for the first time I felt different from my peers.

While I was homeschooled I had to talk the class again but with different teachers, but overall it was annoying to know you can’t think or write or read like everyone else. Why did I just have to be different? Why can’t I be normal like everyone else? Why wasn’t I getting it the first time it was taught? I would ask myself those questions all the time and I still do sometimes. I just seem to get worse as I get older and I used to love writing until I started realizing I sound dumb when I write. Even though I knew what I wanted to say, my brain moves faster than my hands. I remember one day my grandma telling me “I’m having you tested, because I know it’s more than you just not wanting to do it.” I just nodded. I just got nervous because I didn’t want anyone to judge my ability to “be smart”. Once we got there a woman walked us to the back and start asking a bunch of questions. What’s your name? How old are you? How fast do you read? How fast can you solve a math problem? Did you pass your math starr test? Did you pass your reading starr test? I just answered with a fake smile. Amber. 13. I don’t know. Pretty fast I guess. No. No.

Then she asked me to read, now this part is interesting to me. When I read if I mess up I go back to the beginning and try again. That's the way my grandma and my aunt would tell me to do it. So I did what I was taught and she told my grandma “So yea she’s dyslexic, everytime she was reading I was just hoping she wouldn’t start over because she was doing good it’s just her getting stumped on certain words.” My fake smile faded into a glare. On the way back to the car my grandma was so happy and I felt like I'd been hit by a mack truck. Now she knew what was wrong she wanted to know what to do to help it. That's the thing about dyslexic it doesn’t go away overnight, I’m stuck with this for the rest of my life. I just remember looking at that paper with bold black letters at the top dyslexic. I thought to myself ”So now you have papers to prove how stupid you are.” I hated tremendously anything that proved those papers to be right. After that day my grandma would tell me “You got so upset because you were so smart you didn’t know what to do with yourself.” I just felt even dumber.

I used to turn my sadness into anger because being sad wasn’t going to do anything. At least when I got angry I got to leave and cool off. That way I didn’t have to worry about proving anything to anyone. However looking back I wasn’t in the best headspace. My grandpa was in the hospital hooked up to every machine known to man, my body was going through changes, and I was in a class for a child that couldn’t “read and add”. How would you look on the bright side or look at the glass half full? I didn’t think so. By this time I was 15 turning 16 in a hospital all day. I didn't mind being there all day. I wanted to stay and hold his hand and tell him I loved him, I still do because they knew our situation and had to do the “dumb class”. By the time we finally got him home our house became a mini hospital, nurses coming in and out, me having to run everywhere for everything because I organized everything he needed. I just thought that could’ve been enough, it wasn’t. When he passed I just spiraled into an even darker place, to this day I still have dreams about him getting better. My grade’s went from bad to worse, because I wasn’t even trying to be honest.

Then I realized something, the world doesn’t stop turning, some things just happen unexpectedly and you just have to deal with it. LIke my dyslexia, I was expecting to grow up dumb it just happened and now I have to deal with it. If that means I need extra time or help, that's okay. It just means a better understanding of my academic side and learning to love that part myself is the best part of life. I’m stuck with myself forever and so is dyslexia so I gave myself two choices: keep running from it or accept it and grow with it. I chose to love myself and to love the mistakes and hiccups and bumps in the road because I wouldn’t be me without it. Even the side that needs just a little extra help.

1 answer

A Journey from Self-Doubt to Self-Acceptance: Embracing Dyslexia

Growing up, I often felt overshadowed by my cousin, whom everyone regarded as the "smart one." My grandmother, firmly convinced of my laziness, echoed this sentiment, and I began to internalize her belief. While my cousin excelled and thrived in learning environments, relishing the time spent engaging with my grandmother in educational games, I found solace in the television and the toys that populated my room. In a bid to evade feelings of inadequacy, I distanced myself from their shared pursuits, unwilling to be the third wheel in their dynamic. This self-imposed isolation led me to seek comfort with my grandfather, who possessed a unique set of skills as a handyman. Through him, I discovered my own latent abilities, culminating in my initial passion for building and creation.

As my grandmother recognized this newfound enthusiasm for hands-on activities, she gifted me a magnetic building kit, a gesture that laid the groundwork for my burgeoning interest in construction and design. I transitioned from simple building with magnetic balls and sticks to connecting intricate LEGO sets, often spending hours engrossed in my creations. However, my academic challenges loomed on the horizon; I was about to embark on my early education, a period that would be pivotal in shaping my perspective on learning and self-worth.

Entering pre-kindergarten, I was met with the warmth and encouragement of my first teacher, Ms. Simmons. With her dark brown hair, kind smile, and supportive demeanor, she cultivated a nurturing environment where I felt comfortable exploring my abilities without the fear of judgment. In her class, I discovered that my talents lay not in the academic sphere but rather in artistic pursuits. My time in Ms. Simmons' classroom revealed to me the importance of resilience and hard work in the face of challenges. I learned to channel my energies into dancing, drawing, and singing, engaging in each discipline with a fierce determination that became the hallmark of my passions.

Thursday dance classes, led by the inspirational Ms. Angelina, provided an outlet for my creativity. Ms. Angelina’s insightful instruction allowed me to hone my skills as a dancer, even as I emulated her movements with keen observation. The anticipation of our upcoming performance in "The Nutcracker" filled me with excitement as I diligently rehearsed, driven by a desire to excel. That showcase became a pivotal moment in my young life; the validation of a stranger who recognized me as one of the stars of the show made me feel as though all my hard work had culminated in that single moment of joy.

Nevertheless, as I advanced through elementary school, the academic challenges I faced became more pronounced. In fifth grade, I found myself in a remedial class that stripped away precious time from activities I loved, such as physical education. My efforts to comprehend what felt like the simplest concepts were met with deep frustration, and I often found myself grappling with feelings of self-doubt. Questions about my differences plagued me: Why was I not keeping pace with my peers? Why couldn’t I grasp concepts as readily as others seemed to?

Through my grandmother's unwavering support, we pursued testing that ultimately revealed my diagnosis: dyslexia. This label, rather than providing clarity, felt like a heavy burden. I perceived it as a mark of failure, a testament to my inability to grasp the foundational skills my peers had seemingly mastered. Ironically, this new insight into myself left me feeling even more inadequate, as I began to internalize societal notions of intelligence and success.

As I navigated adolescence, compounded by personal challenges such as my grandfather’s illness and eventual passing, my sense of self began to erode further. The emotional toll of loss, combined with a struggle to articulate my thoughts and feelings through writing, culminated in academic decline. Yet, amid this chaos, a realization began to crystallize: the world does not halt for grief or personal struggles. Instead, life continues to unfold, and we must adapt and find our footing.

Embracing my dyslexia has been a journey toward self-acceptance. I came to understand that it is not an indication of my intelligence or worth. Instead, it represents a different way of processing the world. Adapting my approach to learning has not only fostered resilience but has also allowed me to appreciate my unique strengths. My artistic talents and creative inclinations remind me that intelligence is multifaceted; it is not solely defined by conventional metrics.

As I reflect on my experiences, I recognize that I have a choice: I can either run from my struggles or accept them as integral aspects of my journey. I have chosen the latter, embracing every mistake and misstep along the way. This acceptance does not signify complacency; rather, it reflects a commitment to growth and a dedication to understanding myself on a deeper level. Dyslexia will remain a part of my narrative, but it does not define me. I aspire to redefine my relationship with both myself and my challenges as I strive to become the person I am meant to be—capable, resilient, and unapologetically unique.