Introduction

Hook: Mom

Background info: she works at a park

Thesis: (Your thesis statement should include the person/event AND the why you think or behave differently as a result of their influence)
I love to help my mom at the park when she has an event or something.

Body Paragraph 1:
Tell your story here. Include the two “why” points listed in your thesis/claim statement. Make sure each paragraph convinces the reader that this person is worthy of your admiration. You could focus on the person’s character, accomplishments, personality, etc. You may choose to write about how you relate to the person.




Body Paragraph 2: Discuss how your experience has changed your perspective. Remember to be clear why these attributes bring you inspiration to think or behave in a certain way. Also, remember that graders of your essay come from different backgrounds, so you will need to be careful to explain details that the average person may not be familiar with.

1 answer

Body Paragraph 1:
Growing up, I always admired my mom's dedication to her work at the park. She always went above and beyond to create a fun and welcoming environment for visitors. I remember how she would spend long hours planning and organizing events, making sure that every detail was perfect. Her hard work and attention to detail have always inspired me to give my best in everything I do. Additionally, my mom's caring and nurturing nature have shaped the way I interact with others. She always goes out of her way to help those in need and make sure everyone feels included and valued. This has taught me the importance of kindness and empathy, and I strive to embody these qualities in my own life.

Body Paragraph 2:
Helping my mom at the park has opened my eyes to the importance of community and giving back. Seeing the joy on people's faces as they enjoy the events and activities my mom organizes has made me realize the impact that one person can have on others. It has made me more appreciative of the little things in life and motivated me to make a positive difference in my own community. My mom's passion for her work has inspired me to pursue my own passions and never give up on my dreams. She has taught me that with hard work and determination, anything is possible. Overall, my experience helping my mom at the park has not only strengthened our bond but has also shaped me into a more empathetic, driven, and compassionate individual.