I'm writing a romantic poem. Could I use a line like "the snow swirls give you mental bliss." ? Mental bliss just sounds funny or something. Like my english teacher would tell me the words wouldn't go together. Does that sound okay?
5 answers
It sounds a bit awkward to me to be honest because it does not sound like the sentence agrees. I would say something more along the lines "the swirling snows gives you mental blissfulness...?" Not sure if that sounds too great for your poem but hope it helps!
Lord no.
First, consider bliss.
What kind of bliss exists outside the mind?
And, since I abhor cold, what is romantic about snow except looking at it in picture cards or windows whilst one sits before a fireplace?
Snow swirls to me indicates cold hands, numb nose, and blue toes.
Romance is in the heart, and mind. We can compare it to a summer's day, or the rippling brook, or a feign heart, or the sunrise at dawn. But snow swirls, one would have to set the stage for that, and frankly, I think, you would have to create an illusion of romance in the snow. UGH.
Read this: http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/elizabethbarrettbrowning/poems/sonnetsfromtheportuguese/howdoilovetheeletmecounttheways.html
Well, Snow was not mentioned, nor mental bliss.
What I am suggesting you work on your symbols, carefully, then give reason why it fits to romance or love.
First, consider bliss.
What kind of bliss exists outside the mind?
And, since I abhor cold, what is romantic about snow except looking at it in picture cards or windows whilst one sits before a fireplace?
Snow swirls to me indicates cold hands, numb nose, and blue toes.
Romance is in the heart, and mind. We can compare it to a summer's day, or the rippling brook, or a feign heart, or the sunrise at dawn. But snow swirls, one would have to set the stage for that, and frankly, I think, you would have to create an illusion of romance in the snow. UGH.
Read this: http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/elizabethbarrettbrowning/poems/sonnetsfromtheportuguese/howdoilovetheeletmecounttheways.html
Well, Snow was not mentioned, nor mental bliss.
What I am suggesting you work on your symbols, carefully, then give reason why it fits to romance or love.
Oh no my teacher wants us to include different romanticism topics in there. Not love or romance, because that's not really whats its all about.
So like
Nature (snow)
Supernatural
Past or past stories
Exotic places
Youth
So like
Nature (snow)
Supernatural
Past or past stories
Exotic places
Youth
Consider
Snow-Bound
A Winter Idyl
by John Greenleaf Whittier
Snow-Bound
A Winter Idyl
by John Greenleaf Whittier
OK, got it, no love. Then no to mental bliss. Snow swirls could be more descriptive...
Emerson described snow (in a romantic vein)
...On coop or kennel he hangs Parian wreaths;
A swan-like form invests the hidden thorn;
Fills up the farmer's lane from wall to wall,
Maugre the farmer's sighs; and at the gate,
A tapering turret overtops the work.
And when his hours are numbered, and the world
Is all his own, retiring, as he were not,
Leaves, when the sun appears, astonished Art
To mimic in slow structures, stone by stone,
So I would take the snow swirls and give them some life as Emerson did. Such as Snowy swirls dancing down the road, or across the pond, leaving peace in its wake. Work on making Snow swirls human.
Have fun, that is what your teacher intended.
Emerson described snow (in a romantic vein)
...On coop or kennel he hangs Parian wreaths;
A swan-like form invests the hidden thorn;
Fills up the farmer's lane from wall to wall,
Maugre the farmer's sighs; and at the gate,
A tapering turret overtops the work.
And when his hours are numbered, and the world
Is all his own, retiring, as he were not,
Leaves, when the sun appears, astonished Art
To mimic in slow structures, stone by stone,
So I would take the snow swirls and give them some life as Emerson did. Such as Snowy swirls dancing down the road, or across the pond, leaving peace in its wake. Work on making Snow swirls human.
Have fun, that is what your teacher intended.
2 answers