I am trying to write and essay with the topic: Discuss the influence that advertising has had on your life or te lives of your friends.

Question

My thesis is Shoe advertisements have influenced me to spend more money than food advertisements. My points for discussion are regular shoe advertisement, variety of shoes shown, and bargains for the body.

Help. Is this the correct way?

Answer 1

Is that your actual thesis statement? And in addition, do not use personal words (I, me, we, us,) and only refer to things as she, he, it, they, after you have specified what you are discussing (just on a side note). Ok, so your thesis statement should be more like: Shoe advertisements influence the spending of more money as opposed to food advertisements. It sounds as if this essay is a comparison, so as long as in the body paragraphs you compare each of the topics (shoes and food) then you should be fine. Just remember, if you are using a thesis, you are most likely at a point where you are using formal writing, which means you can never use personal words, and also, don't use contractions (don't, can't, etc.). I hope this helps. If you have more questions, just send them in. Good luck!