Question

Hello, I am from Norway 16 years old, i wonder if this text is enough informal. If not how can I make it more informal. Thanks in advance :-D


I thought rather that the farmers should protect their animals, we do not need the wolves, they are not useful for anything. Conservationists may have them inside the wolf sanctuary, so they are not a threat to those who are afraid of their own animals. I do not think that the wolf hunters need to kill them, they can rather shoot them with anaesthetic darts and ask the conservationists to take them to the wolf sanctuary.

Answer 1

http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1255957872
Please double-check -- do you mean formal or informal?

Answer 2

informal

Answer 3

No this is a informal task the other was a formal one :-D

Answer 4

I thought rather that the farmers should protect their animals, we do not need the wolves, they are not useful for anything. <b><~~3 sentences here. Punctuate them correctly. The verb should be "think" instead of "thought." Aren't you writing about the present? Also, what does "rather that" mean? Maybe simply deleting the word "rather" would work.</b>

Conservationists may have them inside the wolf sanctuary, so they are not a threat to those who are afraid of their own animals. <b><~~"afraid <u>for</u> their animals" (not "of."</b>

I do not think that the wolf hunters need to kill them, they can rather shoot them with anaesthetic darts and ask the conservationists to take them to the wolf sanctuary. <b><~~2 sentences here. Punctuate them correctly. Also "they can rather" is awkward; simply "they could" will do.</b>

Answer 5

In addition ...

"Conservationists may have them inside the wolf sanctuary, so they are not a threat to those who are afraid of their own animals."

You need to clarify who all those instances of "they" are -- they = conservationists? wolves? farmers? sheep?