Question

ok here goes:

Dubai - specific topic
the cultural capital of the Middle East-specific impression

Burj Al Arab - world's tallest hotel - support

desert activities - support

beaches - support

one day i will go there - conclusion sentence

___________________________________

Dubai is becoming the cultural capital of the Middle East! Strolling through Burj Al Arab, the world's tallest hotel, would truly be breathtaking. To practice the various desert activities for tourists would get anyone excited. In that course of time, my only other wish would be to catch a glimpse of their amazing beaches. Surely, one day all of this will come true, and I will get to visit Dubai.

what do you think?

Answers

y912f
but somehow it doesnt seem right. because the conclusion sentence is not rephrasing the topic sentence. and the supports are not supporting how it's a cultural capital, they're supporting why i want to visit it.

i'm not sure what to do
please help
Ms. Sue
You can simply add --
. . . visit Dubai, <b>the cultural capital of the Middle East</b>.

y912f
wow that's true
i didn't think of that
thanks

is everything else alright?
Ms. Sue
Yes, everything else is fine!


Sheena

Wow, you and I have the same interest. I really want to go to Dubai as well. There are so many malls there and the best one is the mall of emirates, which is located on sheihk zayed road. It is the biggest one in middle east.


That's good but I would add a bit more to get my audience focused on this topic.
y912f
i'm only allowed to write 5 sentences.

but thanks ! :)

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