Question

Can you please see if what I wrote is in formal language and the grammar is correct? Thank You

In the novel, Dos Passo's women never equaled success, were mainly considered prositutes, married to get ahead, and were failures when it came to keeping a romantic relationship together. Ellen became a failure as a women, because the Modern world is to mechanical, suffocating, and inhumane. The city causes Ellen to distant herself and makes her unable to find her real identity.

Answer 1

Your language is formal. The only change is to use a lower case m for "modern" and to spell "too" mechanical correctly.