Question

Is this written correctly? I wrote this for my focus statement on a report I am currently writing. Please double check. Thank you~!

In this report, I will justify why the movie Saving Private Ryan follows the Archetypal design by analzing the repeating elements which one would find in an archetype quest.

In the examples I found in my outlines, I always find that they start off the focus statement with.."in this report".. would it be absolutely necessary to include this?

Because if not.. I kinda want to write my focus statement as this..

By analzing the repeating elements which one would find in an archetype quest, I will justify why the movie Saving Private Ryan follows the Archetypal design.

I know not a big difference..but I like the second one i wrote more.

Answer 1

Unless your teacher has specifically instructed you to do so, you should really leave the "I" statements out. That's very third-grade!

Try this:

By analzing the repeating elements found in an archetypal quest, it is clear that the movie, <i>Saving Private Ryan</i>, follows the archetypal design.

Answer 2

Could I change that focus statement to:

By analzing the repeating elements found in an archetypal quest, it will be made apparent that the movie, Saving Private Ryan, follows the archetypal design.

btw, Thanks for your help! (:

Answer 3

Yes, that works just fine.

=)