Corrected version:
Redworn laughed as he swung his axe, his face burnt and black from the fires of the battle. He cut down more soldiers, his weapon dripping with blood. He picked up rocks and knocked soldiers with them, creating a bloody pile that he placed in a giant carrier. He and his redheaded comrades then threw the carrier down the stairs, crushing any soldiers in its path. Redworn then approached the great catapults.
"Fire the catapults!" he cried. "Kill everyone!"
As he ran down the stairs, a large figure suddenly appeared and knocked Redworn back with a great hammer. The figure approached him and stuck an iron foot in his gut. The soldiers cheered.
"Gribber Steeltoe!" they cried. "He has come to save us!"
Gribber swung his hammer, striking down lines of redheads and smashing their heads with his steel-toed boots. Their morale faltered and they began to retreat down the stairs towards Frumer, who blocked their path. He wrapped them in vines and threw them down.
"We have lost!" the redheads cried. "Run, run!"
But Rendorn Redhead wouldn't give up. "We still outnumber them," he shouted. "Let's kill them all!"
The redheads cheered and charged forward, fighting fiercely.
"Hunaruan!" cried Gribber. "Where are you?"
Hunaruan looked around and ran towards Gribber. "Yes!" he cried.
"Go down and leave the city," said Gribber. "Leave the redheads to me."
"I will not run from battle," said Hunaruan.
"You are not running," said Gribber. "If you remain, you will die when I destroy the city."
"Very well," said Hunaruan. "Soldiers, follow me."
The remaining soldiers followed Hunaruan down the ramp and out to the field. Gribber swung his hammer and destroyed the three catapults one by one, then ran down the stairs and the ramp, out to the open field. They all watched as the last three great rocks flew through the air and knocked down the battlements, causing the city to collapse and crush all the remaining redheads. The ruined city was now nothing but a pile of rocks and burning wood.
Fix errors
Redworn laughed his face burnt and black he turned and began cutting down more soldiers his bloody axe dripping with blood he began to pick rocks up and knock soldiers with them blood stained the rocks and he began to pile the rocks in a giant carrier then he with the help of his redheads they threw the heavy carrier the rocks rolled down the stairs knocking all the soldiers in their path. Red worn walked up to the great catapults
"Fire the catapults" he cried "kill everyone"
He began to run down the stairs but suddenly a large figure jumped jumped up and with a great hammer it knocked Redworn back then he approached Redworn and stuck an iron foot into his gut.
The soldiers cheered
"Gribber Steeltoe" they cried "he has come to save us".
Gribber swung his large hammer and struck down lines and lines of redheads he smashed a redheads red head and stuck his steel toes in to another's gut the redheads began to falter they were falling fast their morale was very low as they ran down the stairs Frumer stood there blocking their path he began to wrap the redheads in vines and throw them down.
" run run" the redheads cried "we have lost"
"Wait" cried Rendorn Redhead " We still out number them lets kill them down to the last one"
The redheads cheered and ran forward they fought fiercely .
"Hunaruan" cried Gribber"Hunaruan where are you"
Hunaruan looked around and ran towards Gribber.
"yes" he cried.
"Go down leave the city" said Gribber "leave the redheads to me"
"I will not run from battle" said Hunaruan
"You are not" said Gribber "I will destroy the city and all will be over if you remain you will die"
"Very well" said Hunaruan "soldiers follow me"
The few remaining soldiers followed closely behind Hunaruan they all ran down the small ramp and out to the field. Gribber swung his large hammer at the three catapults one after the other he then turned and ran down the stairs then the ramp out to the open field they all watched as the last three great rocks flew through the air and fell down knocking the battlements down and the whole city began to collapse crushing all the redheads in it the crumbled city was now more crumbled than before it was no longer a great ruined city but now it was a pile of rocks and wood burning in flmae.
5 answers
this is beautiful
Thank you! Is there anything else I can assist you with?
Thanks its my story
Oh, well then I'm glad you found the corrections helpful! Good luck with your story.
1 answer