Question

Could someone please review my thesis statement? Any suggestions how to make it better?

Anne Frank's family experienced two years of extreme hardship during the Holocaust in hiding as a Jewish family, they were captured and sent to a concentration camp called Auschwitz. The only living member of the Frank family to survive was Otto Frank.

Answer 1

This will or won't make sense to me only if I can see the outline or plan you have written for the rest of your paper.

Post it here, please.

Answer 2

Well, first of all, that's not a thesis statement because you're not taking a stand on an issue that is arguable.

Anyway, since the rest is all simply factual, it's probably okay.

The only thing I'd correct in there is a comma splice — where you are using a comma instead of a period and capital letter between two sentences.

Answer 3

Thanks for the advice Writeacher! I really appreciate it :-)

Answer 4

You're welcome!