Question

Can someone please go over this introduction my prompt is an argumentive essay about why driverless cars are good for society. I usually do great on my introduction but for some reason am struggling with this one. Give me advice on how to better it or if it fits. I am in a 10th-grade ap class. Thank you!

Driverless cars have become the talk of the technology industry whether or not they are good or bad for society. Driverless cars are in fact good for society. The first driverless car was invented in 1939 by a man named Norman Bel Geddes, since then thousands of prototypes have been created and have helped improve errors within the car technology. Driverless cars improve the safety of everyone on the streets, they eliminate human error and help disabled people and seniors. Driverless cars are necessary for the fast advancement of the technology world.

Answer 1

I'd fix these things:

1. Too many sentences begin with "Driverless cars" — rephrase many so there's variety.

2. I'd combine sentences 1 and 2 so there's not so much repetition — but don't create a run-on!

3. This is a run-on: "Driverless cars improve the safety of everyone on the streets, they eliminate human error and help disabled people and seniors."

4. How are "people" and "seniors" different? Seniors in high school? Senior citizens? In either case, aren't "seniors" also "people"?

5. In the last sentence, you've used a noun ("technology") as an adjective. What is the adjective form of that noun?