Question

Do you get your health insurance through your employer? If so, then keep the sentence, but make it personal to you. You could make that last sentence (after it's edited) be your conclusion, or at least part of it.

I get my health insurance through the NYS marketplace. My job does offer health insurance but only to full-time employees (How could I add this in? ) Also, do I need to make another paragraph for my conclusion?
Such as Taking care of yourself through proper diet and exercise may help reduce the risk of being sick. You can also take a look at your health insurance plan to find out more information on how to get started in the right direction.

I thank you so much for your help

Answer 1

I get my health insurance through the NYS marketplace. My job does offer health insurance, but only to full-time employees.
<b>Yes, add this in where you now have info about getting insurance through your employer.</b>

Also, do I need to make another paragraph for my conclusion?
<b>Yes.</b>

Taking care of yourself through proper diet and exercise may help reduce the risk of being sick. You can also take a look at your health insurance plan to find out more information on how to get started in the right direction.
<b>This is good if you change all those "you" references to I, my, etc. Remember: the question is what YOU will do as a result of your studies in this area.</b>