Think about the underlined words, and usage thereof. In the underlined sentence, why are you comparing a NEW flash drive with the OLDER dvd?
Both the USB flash drive and the DVD are data storage devices, but they both have numerous differences. Both can contain insane amounts of data and add to our storage making it even easier to store your photos, videos, and many more types of files. However, the ways both devices operate are very different. The DVD requires a port and a laser to scan the extremely small bumps on DVD thousands of times per minute. This process may take longer than simply plugging your USB drive into a USB port. Because the USB has no moving parts, it is faster than to use the DVD drive and it is silent. The newly invented USB flash drive contains 32GB while the older DVD contains about 4.7GB. Regardless of the differences in technology and age, both devices are great data storages.
One way to effectively rewrite and edit, is to write, then put it away for 24 hours, then come back to read it fresh. Sometimes it reads different the second time.
Both the USB flash drive and the DVD are data storage devices, but they both have numerous differences. Both can contain insane amounts of data and add to our storage making it even easier to store your photos, videos, and many more types of files. However, the ways both devices operate are very different. The DVD requires a port and a laser to scan the extremely small bumps on DVD thousands of times per minute. This process may take longer than simply plugging your USB drive into a USB port. Because the USB has no moving parts, it is faster than to use the DVD drive and it is silent. The newly invented USB flash drive contains 32GB while the older DVD contains about 4.7GB. Regardless of the differences in technology and age, both devices are great data storages.
Could you revise this essay for me. Personally after I revised this i couldn't find a way to make it better
4 answers
"it is faster than using the DVD drive"
I don't know about others, but I just slip my DVD into the DVD drive in the side of my iMac to play or record. Very easy. No noise either. If this is true for other computers, do you want to use those points for your comparison?
I don't know about others, but I just slip my DVD into the DVD drive in the side of my iMac to play or record. Very easy. No noise either. If this is true for other computers, do you want to use those points for your comparison?
One other suggestion from one of our English teachers while in the carwash texting with me: Tell him to rephrase so he gets all those instances of 'you' and 'your' out of there!
One other comment on editing from the carwashing English teacher: He should also print 2 copies, then read it out loud to another person (who also has a printout) to catch errors and phrasing issues.
1 answer