Hello! I have an essay due soon, and I need some help with my thesis statement. I haven't written an essay for a few years so if someone can critique and comment on the thesis it would help out a lot. Thanks! Here it is:

Question

Although some might argue that riddles are mere children’s games, the sheer mechanics of a riddle are identical to those used in the art of poetry; thus, resulting in the audience gaining a deeper perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself.

Although some might argue that riddles are mere children's games, the sheer mechanics of a riddle are identical to those used in the art of poetry, resulting in the reader's deeper perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself.

Remove "thus" and "audience gaining" -- otherwise, it sounds fine.

Here are some websites that can help you with writing essays:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/general/index.html

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/catalogue.html

http://nutsandbolts.washcoll.edu/

(Broken Link Removed)

http://www.arts.uottawa.ca/writcent/hypergrammar/paragrph.html
(Use the contents on the left.)

http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/thesis_statement.shtml

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
(Use the different menus to get help of various kinds.)

=)

Thank you for your help!