Question

This is my conclusion to my surveillance essay. Can someone help me revise this or suggest any changes. I tried to make the conclusion as mature as possible to be a college/ university type of conclusion. Any further suggestions would be much appreciated.
*I used "society" multiple times. What can I use to replace "society" for the sentence to still make sense?
* What else can I say other than "people's lives" ?
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1.) A surveillance society strikes a slight fear to civil liberties. 2.) The establishment of a supervision system imposing on society instills a fear factor, threatens privacy, and minimizes freedom. 3.) A monitoring device affects society and people's lives in general. 4.) While the creation of an espionage-like society begins and increases, concern, uneasiness, and anxiety remains. 5.) An observation system not only conflicts with society, but it profoundly impacts human daily activities.

Answers

Ms. Sue
1. I'd eliminate "slight."

Check this site for synonyms.

http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/society?s=t
kainat
plz help me my english is not good i feeling bad help me i read 1st year icom 1 part so i wish my english is so so gud plz rply me
Sean Savage
that conclusion was even more of a fail than the attempted murder of the pope -__-

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