Asked by Victoria
Write a letter to your parents about a memorable moment in your life, using imagery to capture your experience.
I origionally sumbitted a different letter, but Bob insisted that I should write more about my feelings toward my experience than using imagery.
"Dear Mom and Dad,
First arriving at Girl’s Camp has become one of the most memorable moments of my life. What I had been told about other people’s experiences hardly even compares to my own. Yes, the road was just as rough and nauseating, but never have I felt so much happiness, surrounded by nature and genuine people. Never have I learned so much about the scriptures and the gospel. Never have I felt the Spirit of God and the Holy Ghost as much as I have than during my time in Heaven on Earth.
My experience at Girl’s Camp was heightened even more by my fellow camp members. They are all so friendly; never forcing but always insistent. They lowered my guard, if only an inch, enabling me to be myself. They have become my friends, although most of us will likely part ways once we return home. Nevertheless, their willingness to both include and accept me will never be forgotten, and neither will my blissful experience.
Love your daughter,
Victoria"
I origionally sumbitted a different letter, but Bob insisted that I should write more about my feelings toward my experience than using imagery.
"Dear Mom and Dad,
First arriving at Girl’s Camp has become one of the most memorable moments of my life. What I had been told about other people’s experiences hardly even compares to my own. Yes, the road was just as rough and nauseating, but never have I felt so much happiness, surrounded by nature and genuine people. Never have I learned so much about the scriptures and the gospel. Never have I felt the Spirit of God and the Holy Ghost as much as I have than during my time in Heaven on Earth.
My experience at Girl’s Camp was heightened even more by my fellow camp members. They are all so friendly; never forcing but always insistent. They lowered my guard, if only an inch, enabling me to be myself. They have become my friends, although most of us will likely part ways once we return home. Nevertheless, their willingness to both include and accept me will never be forgotten, and neither will my blissful experience.
Love your daughter,
Victoria"
Answers
Answered by
Writeacher
Bravo!! I love it!
Only one suggestion ... that you remove "just as" from the second sentence. Everything else is really good.
Only one suggestion ... that you remove "just as" from the second sentence. Everything else is really good.
Answered by
Victoria
Thank you!
Do you think I used enough imagery, though?
Do you think I used enough imagery, though?
Answered by
Writeacher
Oh, yes. Very nice job!
Answered by
Victoria
Thank you!
Answered by
Writeacher
You're welcome.
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