Write a description of a scene in the story "The Birds" by Daphne Du Maurier as it would look to a bird flying overhead.
What do you think? I wrote the description about the scene when the birds are entering the house through the chimney.
"The bright flames rose from the chimney like a candle, attracting many birds, knowing their next meal had ignited it. However, the great deal of smoke and the stench of singed feathers rose quicker, drawing even more birds away."
6 answers
Please help me!
As far as I know, flames don't come out of chimneys ... smoke does. If flames are coming out, it means the house is on fire!
"drawing even more birds away" = toward the house or from the house?
"drawing even more birds away" = toward the house or from the house?
Yes, but the main character throws a canister of paraffin in the fire, which then causes the flames to rise up from the chimney.
Correction: "The bright flames rose from the chimney like a candle, drawing many birds, knowing their next meal had ignited it. However, the great deal of smoke and the stench of singed feathers rose even quicker, signaling the others to flee."
Correction: "The bright flames rose from the chimney like a candle, drawing many birds, knowing their next meal had ignited it. However, the great deal of smoke and the stench of singed feathers rose even quicker, signaling the others to flee."
Much better.
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Correction: "The bright flames rose from the chimney like a candle, drawing many birds to the house, knowing their next meal had ignited it. However, the great deal of gray smoke and the stench of singed feathers rose even quicker, signaling the others to flee."
Do you think I have written as though it is from a bird's perspective?
9 answers